The Ravings of a Crazy Wannabe Warrior Princess

1. Write only using Write or Die.
2. Keep the screen covered while writing so I'm not tempted to correct/rewrite anything.
3. No re-reading.

It's Day 8, and my current word count is a whopping 3,014. I'm over 10K behind. My motivation is at an all-time low. I'm not giving up, though. I did it once, and if I follow these rules (and avoid the NaNo website like the plague so everyone else's insanely high word counts don't make me want to kill myself), I can do it again.

And now for something FUN! Yay!

( Meme questions from elsieaustin )

Current Mood: thoughtful

I'M GOING TO THE 2010 XENA CONVENTION!!!!!

I was prepared to pay $424.90 to either fly down on Thursday afternoon and come back Sunday evening or fly down on Friday morning and come back Monday morning. Instead, I'm paying $254.40 to fly down on Thursday evening and come back Monday morning. I won't have to get up insanely early to leave, I'll have a ride, so I won't have to walk or take a cab, I won't miss too many classes, I won't miss any con events, and I (hopefully) won't be too jet-lagged when I get back. Even though I'm an agnostic with atheist leanings, I feel compelled to thank the Lord Almighty for AirTran Airways and their awesomely low ticket prices, and for Nathan, the kind and generous soul who offered to drive me to the airport.

The moment I finished booking my flight, this surreal feeling came over me. After two years of fighting with my mom and reading everyone's convention reports at the XOC with extreme jealousy, I'm finally GOING. This is going to be the experience of a lifetime, I have no doubt. I can't wait to meet all my fellow XOCers, especially ladykate63 and elsieaustin, who's going to be my roomie. :D

Current Mood: jubilant

Aww, my baby sister's growing up so fast.

Dear God, if you exist, strike me dead here and now. I'm a monster and I deserve to burn in Hell.

Current Mood: guilty

Snagged from elsieaustin
Cinderella:

One of your parents is dead
You are expected to do a lot of chores
You love to dress up
You love animals
You are waiting patiently for your Prince Charming
Your mom is really strict
You have sisters who seem kind of jealous of you
You’re afraid to speak your mind sometimes
You have left your shoes at a friend’s house before
You have blonde hair

TOTAL: 3

Belle:

You’ve kissed someone your friends didn’t like
You’ve been lost in the forest
You love to read
You are not shy at all, and not afraid to speak your mind
One of your family members is a bit weird (try all of them, lol)
You have done volunteer work
You have a wild imagination
You love to take care of people in need
You’ve rejected at least one person when they’ve asked you out

TOTAL: 6

Jasmine:

You are very clever
You’ve been with someone way different from you
You’re unique and different from everyone else
You’d never marry someone just because they were rich
You have set a lot of goals for yourself
You don’t have a lot of friends
You’re independent
You are wealthy
Your parents try to control your life

TOTAL: 4

Ariel:

Your parents expect a lot from you
You really try to follow the rules, but it’s hard for you
You’re a bit of a trouble maker
You’re the youngest in your family
You have a lot of sisters
You collect something
You have/had long hair
You have/had a pet fish
You’re extremely curious
You believe everything people tell you/you’re a bit gullible

TOTAL: 3

Snow White:

You know that you’re beautiful
Sometimes it seems like your mom is jealous of you
You’ve almost been killed
You have at least seven good friends
You’ve had food poisoning
You have/had short hair
You get along with almost everyone
All of your friends are different
You love to have a good time
You’re happier when you’re out of the house than in

TOTAL: 2

Mulan:

You can be a tomboy sometimes
People wish you could be a bit more girly
You’ve pretended to be someone you’re not
You’ve had a physical fight with someone
You have/had considered running away from home
Your parents try to plan your life out
A lot of your friends are boys
You sometimes find yourself in bad situations
You love your family so much that you’d do anything to protect them

TOTAL: 3

Aurora:

You live/have lived with someone other than your parents
You almost died at a very young age
You are gentle, loving, and/or thoughtful
You have a decent singing voice
You like to sleep in late on the weekends
You spend most of your time outside
You’re adopted
Pink is one of your favorite colors

TOTAL: 3

Pocahontas:

You love to walk around big cities
You are more spiritual than religious
You’ve been in an interracial relationship
One of your family members is dead
Your parents are very protective of you
Someone you know has been in war
You love nature
You have/had black hair
You would love to move somewhere exotic and beautiful
You’re very adventurous

TOTAL: 6

Most like: Tie - Belle and Pocahontas. I thought about bolding "You love to take care of people in need" to break the tie (since Belle is my favorite, after all), but I take care of myself more than anyone else, and I don't go out of my way to help people as often as I should.

Least like: Snow White.

Current Mood: thoughtful

I WILL regain my passion for writing. I WILL get lost in my own fictional worlds. I WILL hear my characters' voices in my head and freak everyone out when I talk to them. I WILL feel all the emotions my characters feel, and when other people read my work, they'll feel the same emotions. I WILL write great stories that will inspire others. I WILL be the writer I know I can be.

Current Mood: determined

If you're a fan of the TV series Legend of the Seeker, check out legendland for an opportunity to get to know other fans and engage in some friendly competition. You will be placed on one of four teams: Team Richard, Team Kahlan, Team Denna (of which yours truly is a member), and Team Cara. Once you're assigned to a team, you can participate in all kinds of fun challenges: graphics, fanfic, trivia and more. Apply here to be assigned to a team, and tell them amarra_jade sent you!

Current Mood: excited

I can finally say something I've been afraid to say, but have known deep down my entire life:

I don't believe in God.

Leastways not the Christian God.

What led me to this realization? Well, despite being raised in a devout Catholic household, I never felt any connection with God. After I finished high school, I gradually stopped going to church except on holidays. But I still wanted to believe in God, namely because if there was no God, it would mean that when I died, I'd simply cease to exist, and that thought terrified me.

In my second year of college, however, I experienced a crushing blow to what faith I had left. I took a religious studies class, and during our unit on Judaism, it suddenly occurred to me: If God is supposed to embody love and forgiveness, why would he slaughter all the first-born children in Egypt? I couldn't think of an answer. But eventually, I was able to brush it off because no one takes everything in the Bible literally; not even my mother, whose Catholic faith is an extremely important part of her life.

Recently, the question of God's existence started bugging me again. I thought understanding the atheist's perspective might help me decide what I believed (or didn't believe), so I checked out some atheist websites, and I happened to stumble across this one. What I read there shocked me, to say the least. Having never read the entire Bible, I was deeply disturbed to learn that the slaughter of the first-born children in Egypt was by no means the only instance of God behaving in an unloving, unforgiving manner.

I could just choose to ignore all the acts of murder, rape, slavery, etc. done in the name of God, but that begs the question: How much of the Bible can I ignore and still consider myself a true Christian? I'd have to ignore almost the entire Old Testament. If God is willing to kill 42 children for making fun of a bald guy, I have no doubt he'd be willing to condemn me to Hell for disregarding such a large part of his divine law.

My dad says it's better to believe than not to believe because if you believe and you're wrong, nothing happens to you, but if you don't believe and you're wrong, you go to Hell. Well, if the only way I can get into Heaven is to worship a God who condones murder, rape, and slavery, I'd rather go to Hell.

There's also the age old question of why, if God loves us, he still allows us to suffer. Most Christians say it's to test our faith. By that logic, Hitler and the terrorists responsible for the 9/11 disaster were right to kill millions of innocent people because they were simply doing what God wanted them to: Testing our faith. Remind me again why I'm supposed to make it my ultimate goal to spend eternity with this guy? Again, I'll take Hell. Frankly, it sounds much more appealing (as does nonexistence, although the thought of it still terrifies me).

To sum this up, I don't consider myself an atheist because I'm still open to the possibility of something existing beyond our universe, but I don't believe it's the Christian God, who's nothing more than an enormous contradiction.

Current Mood: thoughtful

Your result for The Perception Personality Image Test...

NBPC - The Daydreamer

Nature, Background, Big Picture, and Color

You perceive the world with particular attention to nature. You focus on the hidden treasures of life (the background) and how that fits into the larger picture. You are also particularly drawn towards the colors around you. Because of the value you place on nature, you tend to find comfort in more subdued settings and find energy in solitude. You like to ponder ideas and imagine the many possibilities of your life without worrying about the details or specifics. You are in tune with all that is around you and understand your life as part of a larger whole. You are a down-to-earth person who enjoys going with the flow.

The Perception Personality Types:

Take The Perception Personality Image Test at HelloQuizzy

Your result for The What's Your Philosophy? Test...

Optimist

Take The What's Your Philosophy? Test at HelloQuizzy

Current Mood: surprised

Your result for The Harry Potter Husband Test...

Mrs. Lupin

Your perfect HP man is Remus Lupin.

Take The Harry Potter Husband Test at HelloQuizzy

Current Mood: happy

http://www.typologycentral.com/forums/629100-post10.html

It's a Myers-Briggs-esque test that uses food dishes as the personality types. My result:

VNUC (vegetable, noodle, sUbtle, cold) - Green salad

Somewhat serious and crunchy, Green Salad personalities are very down to earth and know their roots. Green Salads are calm in a crisis and tend to be unflappable. They are stabilising influences in the work environment. However, if they are going to become stressed, this is most likely to occur in the morning when they are still waking up. Generally, what you see is what you get with this personality type.

Current Mood: amused

( Quiz results )

Current Mood: bored

I currently have Harry Potter on the brain, so it was no surprise that I had a dream about it last night. It was, however, a surprise that Harry was naked in a bubble bath and Snape was standing over him and making him count the bubbles. Some fanfic writers would probably be all over that scenario, but I'll pass. *vomits*

On a less squicky note, I just discovered that the chorus to Nightwish's "Live To Tell The Tale" goes "An errant soul/Homeless and foul/All gone but the will/To live to tell the tale" and not "An errant soul/Hopeless and frail/All gone but the will/To live to tell the tale" as I thought. I like my version better. Tuomas Holopainen, you're a genius (not to mention a total studmuffin), but your rhyming skills need some work. "Frail" rhymes with "tale," "foul" does not.

Current Mood: nauseated

Character: Gabrielle (Xena: Warrior Princess)

1. Do you like this character?

I'll be honest: She's not my favorite character, or even second or third favorite. I don't want to say she's overrated because I can definitely understand why she's so popular, but I can't understand why some people believe she's the true hero of the series, or that Xena wouldn't have been a good person without her. As a Xenacentric, I can't help but feel a bit bitter toward Gabrielle when people say things like that. Nonetheless, I do like her. However you view the X/G relationship, there's no denying that it's the heart of the series, and Gabrielle's evolution from innocent, optimistic peasant girl to seasoned warrior is very fascinating to watch. I prefer Baby Gab and Classic Gab to Warrior Gab, so her transformation is a bit depressing to me, but it's inevitable, given all the violence and death she encounters in her travels with Xena.

2. What name/s do you call this character?

Gabrielle or Gab. Never Gabby--I can't stand it for some reason.

3. What image-color do you associate with this character?

Classic Gab--long hair, wearing the BGSB and brown skirt and holding her staff. Classic Gab is my favorite version of Gabrielle because she's the perfect combination of innocence and toughness, so she's the one I picture most of the time.

4. What image-song do you associate with this character?

I had to think about it, but "(Everything I Do) I Do It For You" by Bryan Adams. It might seem like more of an X/G song, but I think it's the perfect Gabrielle song because, while Xena is motivated mostly by her desire for redemption, Gabrielle is almost entirely motivated by her love for Xena. I love this about her, but it's also partially why I find her transformation into Warrior Gab depressing--she basically sacrifices her own identity to be with Xena.

5. What blood-type do you think this character is?

I don't really understand this question, so I'm going to go with a personality type like elsieaustin did. I've been fascinated with Myers-Briggs typology lately. Gabrielle strikes me as an ENFP (Extraverted Intuitive Feeling Perceiving). Here's the description from Wikipedia. I think it really fits her, especially the parts I bolded:

"ENFPs are initiators of change, keenly perceptive of possibilities. They energize and stimulate others through their contagious enthusiasm. They prefer the start-up phase of a project or relationship, and are tireless in the pursuit of new-found interests. ENFPs are able to anticipate the needs of others and to offer them needed help and appreciation. They bring zest, joy, liveliness, and fun to all aspects of their lives. They are at their best in situations that are fluid and changing, and that allow them to express their creativity and use their charisma. They tend to idealize people, and can be disappointed when reality fails to fulfill their expectations. They are easily frustrated if a project requires a great deal of follow-up or attention to detail."

6. Of all of the titles that this character appears in, what character do you like to put this character with?

Xena, of course! I'm not a subtexter, though. I prefer to view their relationship as unconditional love and friendship without sex.

7. What would you want to say to this character?

No idea. To paraphrase elsieaustin, Xena characters tend to make me forget my identity, so I never really have things to say to them.

8. Which do you want to do with this character: Shake hands, hug, or kiss?

Hug. :D

--

This was fun to do. Thanks, Alicia. :D Sorry, I don't feel like tagging anyone. If you want to do it, go ahead.

Current Mood: thoughtful

Which Royalty Are You? Find out! By Nishi.

Which Woman of Beauty Are You? Find out! By Nishi.

Which Woman of Legend Are You? Find out! By Nishi.

Current Mood: calm

Current Mood: amused

This is Aimee's brain.

This is Aimee's brain on Nightwish:

Ever felt away with me just once that all I wish for this nighttime to last for a lifetime loneliness whatever walks in my heart will walk alone without himself war between him and the day need someone to come cover me with you come comfort come comfort me with your love and reveal to me my true name oh how I wish I had an angel for one moment of love under the black rose you told I had the eyes of the wolf search them and fly to a dream far across the sea all the burdens gone open the chest once more dark chest of wonders seen through the eyes of the child gave thought to the poet's words gave comfort to the fallen remaining yet still uninvited those words scented my soul it's not the monsters unders your bed it is the end of all hope to lose the child the faith to end all the innocence to be someone like me................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................and so on.

MAKE IT STOP! Do you hear me, brain? I'm trying to SLEEP! Stop playing Nightwish songs!

(Of course, I'm probably not making it any easier by listening to them so much.)

Current Mood: tired